When we connect with others who believe in our power and brilliance, this helps us remember an internal guiding force within ourselves. In my experience in counseling and coaching, I have seen two forces that help pull someone out of their darkness:
- their own sense of agency (translated into concrete physical action) and
- knowing that even just one person believes in them and their ability to evolve and shine their brilliance in this world.
No medication or brain technology can replicate that. We need voices and models who guide us to get in touch with our own internal source of strength.
this is also why attachment theory is one of the most important theories for us to understand, in terms of human brain functioning, resilience and ability to cope with life’s stressors.
Secure attachment is not a ‘nice to have’. It is a neurologically necessary ingredient to immune system health, brain functioning and ‘autonomic maturity’.
I’ve covered this theory in a couple of videos and podcast episodes:
The power of attachment, and its effects on the brain
Danger, power and attachment: the mammalian brain and my interview with Loretta BreuningDanger, power and navigating our neurochemicals: my interview with Loretta Breuning
attachment and emotion regulation podcast episodeAttachment & emotion regulation podcast episode
Here are a few more resources and researchers to explore:
Mary Ainsworth- (particularly the 1978 book with Blehar, Waters & Wall).
John Bowlby (Attachment and loss: Vol 1, 2, 3)
Alan Schore (co-regulation, self-regulation and dysregulation: origins of the self)
Neufeld Institute (author of Hold On to Your Kids)
Attachment Lab Cornell University
The Gottman Institute (adult attachment)
Ruth Feldman Lab (bio behavioral synchrony)
Philip Shaver & Cindy Hazan (adult attachment researchers and authors of book, Attached)
Mario Mikulincer - Adult Attachment Lab, UCDavis
David A. Sbarra
C. Sue Carter (Kinsey Institute - Oxytocin and vasopressin researcher)
Lisa M Diamond
Tiffany Field (bio behavioral aspects of attachment)
Andrew Huberman Podcast: the science of love, desire and attachment
Mindset Neuroscience Podcast: Season 2 Episode 11: THE NEUROSCIENCE OF ATTACHMENT AND EMOTION REGULATION
#attachment #attachmenttheory #secureattachment #neuroscience #relationships #love
#humanconnection
