There's a lot happening in the world right now.
You can feel it—in the news, in conversations, in the tension that seems to hum beneath even ordinary interactions. Whether it's in-person exchanges or the charged landscape of online spaces, many of us are carrying a heightened sense of stress, anxiety, and alertness.
And when we enter into connection with other humans from that place, something happens.
Every relational space is a complex living system.
It's not just two or more individuals exchanging words. It's an ecosystem shaped by histories, nervous system states, and—especially right now—collective activation. When we interact with others, we're not just showing up as who we are in this moment. We're entering a field influenced by everything we've experienced and everything we've absorbed from the world around us.
And our brains notice.
The past-based algorithms.
Here's what happens neurobiologically: when we enter relational spaces—whether a family gathering, a work meeting, a comment thread, or a text exchange—our brains run predictive models based on what has happened before.
These aren't conscious decisions. They're survival shortcuts—algorithms built from accumulated experience.
The result? We can find ourselves feeling defensive or self-protective before anyone has even said anything. We might notice ourselves regressing into old patterns, old reactions, old versions of ourselves.
The dynamics repeat, from past to present, as if on a loop.
This isn't a flaw. It's your brain doing what brains do—predicting, protecting, conserving energy.
But in times of collective stress, these algorithms can run hotter. We're more primed for threat. More likely to interpret ambiguity as danger. More likely to react from old wounds rather than current wisdom.
And here's what else is true:
Your most evolved state is NOW.
Because of human brain architecture—specifically the capacity of your executive systems to override automatic responses—you have access to something your past-based algorithms don't account for: your current wisdom.
You can notice the pull backward. You can acknowledge it. And then you can allow your present-moment intelligence to guide what happens next.
This looks like:
- Your breath—slowing it, deepening it, using it to shift your internal state
- Your "beam of awareness"—consciously directing your attention to what IS right in that moment, what IS worthy of your sacred attention, rather than letting it be hijacked by old triggers. What IS working can include the breathtaking intelligence of your body, even in a moment of anxiety or stress—its ability to calculate the exact amount of oxygen it needs and orchestrate a perpetual, ongoing rhythm to guide you through ever-changing contexts. That's happening right now. It never stopped.
- Your movements—your speech, your gestures, even the way you reach for something or type a message
These micro-actions can reflect your most evolved self rather than your most defended one—whether you're sitting across from someone or responding to a message on a screen.
The balance we're navigating: Trust and Surrender.
In times like these, we're asked to hold a paradox:
We need time for trust—where we tune inward and trust the intelligence of our mind-brain-body to let us know what it needs. Not looking outward to what the world seems to be saying we should do, should feel, should want. But really landing in the knowing that our own system carries wisdom about what it needs to restore and recalibrate.
AND we need moments of surrender—where we release the grip of control and actually let ourselves land in connection with others, even when the world feels uncertain.
Both are necessary. Neither is the whole picture.
The wisdom isn't in choosing one over the other.
It's in recognizing which is needed, when. And having the internal flexibility to shift.
It takes intention.
None of this happens automatically. The default is the algorithm.
The default is the past.
The default, especially now, is reactivity.
Presence—real presence—requires an intention to be here, now, in this body, with this breath, with these people (or this person, or this screen)... as the person you've become.
Not the person you were at fourteen. Not the role you were assigned. Not the pattern you learned to survive. Not the version of you shaped by the last difficult headline you read.
You have the capacity to do this. Your brain was built for it.
The question is whether you'll choose it.
For deeper exploration:
If you want to understand more about how your heart and breath can be powerful tools for nervous system regulation, I invite you to read and listen to: The Heart as a Little Brain: The Beauty and Power of Mindful Breathing
Your heart picks up on things your conscious mind misses. Learning to work with it—and with your breath—is one of the most powerful forms of self-directed regulation we have access to.
Wishing you moments of both trust and surrender this week.
With you in this, Stefanie
P.S. This is my calling to the Super-Regulators out there.. the people who are here, sensing that part of their gift to the world is their Vibrational Offering.. their ability to hold adaptability, responsiveness and a striving for our most Evolved Nature to be the strongest, clearest signal in every room we enter, every online space we click into. My call for you is to join my Neuro Wise, Neuro Intelligent Leadership Community...
I'm excited to share more of the science behind trust and surrender in the first module of the program. The full first module also explores the 3 Non-Negotiable Realities of human existence—and our 3 Tools for Navigating them.
Next week I'll be sending out a free training that touches on some of the brain science (sign up for that here).
This is a culmination of almost two decades of measuring human transformation in the form of waves and frequencies... from CEOs and celebrities, to monks and youth in recovery. I can't wait to share it with you.
As always, the bulk of my offering is free - my podcast, my articles, videos (more will be happening this year). But if you want closer connection to me and an incredible network, and more of a system and sequence of neuro tools, this could be that space for you.
