What is your self-talk?
Self talk is an internal working model. It’s the activity of brain circuits that are well-used and repeated.
Because you were around a small set of people during critical years of brain development, you were likely surrounded by similar behaviors and emotional responses over and over again.
How often did the people around you say positive things to you and to each other? How often did they criticize or blame you or others for not doing enough, being enough, or being too much?
The words that surrounded you were data that your brain gathered to create cause-effect models. (If something goes wrong, it’s because I’m lazy, stupid, worthless, pathetic).
Notice what happens if you don’t do well at something. Is there a voice that motivates you? Or does the voice beat you down and make you feel small, like giving up?
That voice may have more to do with what you heard when you were young than you realize.
Monitor the words you consume and repeat each day. When it comes to building brain networks, it’s survival-of-the-busiest.
What percentage of the words and images you consume and repeat each day make you feel motivated, valuable, ignited, passionate, compassionate, and capable of pursuing your dreams? You may need to intentionally seek out and increase that percentage to compensate for the lack of them you had growing up, and the lack of those kinds of messages that surround many of us today.
Look for the voices of people who are here to help. Find the words and voices of people who remind you of your capacity to evolve, adapt and heal. Sometimes we need to keep our senses open to information that can show us a new possibility we hadn't thought of, or a way of feeling fulfilled that is different than the path we were on before.
The more of those kind of words, habits and rhythms you expose yourself to, the more data your brain-body system has to build into its own algorithms for solving problems and getting back after a setback or period of struggle. We are capable of generating more love, strength and courage than we currently realize. Sometimes we need to see and hear the power and resilience of someone who has been through their own struggles to help us remember the strength we have to get through ours.
Find the voices and words of those who light something within you to keep going. Not only for your own sake, but because there may be someone out there who needs your voice in the face of whatever they are going through.