I just wanted to send you an update of what's going on behind the scenes here...
First - thank you to all of you for sending beautiful messages of understanding and encouragement.
The insights I've had over the past few weeks have been incredible. Taking time off from social media, my website and from posting content - while immersing myself in a process of deep self-reflection - was a decision that shifted something in me I wasn't expecting.
It felt like a dissipation of an old identity. It was like I was surrendering to a state of no longer needing to be an expert. I finally allowed myself to not have all the answers, and to acknowledge that I had deep wounds I had not yet addressed. And it has changed my life.
By letting that identity dissipate, I was finally able to really, really look at myself. This led me through various stages - similar to those of the stages of grief. I had to grieve the loss of my identity as having it all together. It was humbling. It broke me open - which was the point where things really shifted.
Knowing that I couldn't keep going the way I was and had no other answers opened my mind up to what I can only describe as another dimension. A dimension of awareness. It's like a blank mind but not numbing out - being aware of its emptiness and sinking in to it.
Once I experienced this, I saw the peace and strength it brought me. It is like an instant anchor that allows me to be an eye of the storm from which to see life more clearly.
I started to sink into the feeling of not always needing to lead, convince or teach, but wanting to listen and be present with something that is beyond thought or words. I’ve begun to consciously tap into what it feels like to listen and tune in to the presence of others, the world around me and simultaneously be tuned in to a quiet awareness inside of me that is not in the grips of my defense mechanisms.
It's one of the most gratifying feelings I've ever experienced. I believe this is what Eckhart Tolle refers to as the Transcendent Dimension.
Each day, I've experienced it more and more. This is still a work in progress, but now that I have this added dimension of awareness - I'm able to access that state more consciously. I’ll be attempting to put this into words as I create content.
Letting go of the old track that I was on left me open to new possibilities.
Coincidentally, a couple of weeks ago I woke up in the morning with an entire framework laid out for a book - which is what I am now planning.
It includes 6 tiers of sociobiological-nervous system responses that we have access to in response to threat and safety. It also includes 6 bio-mechanisms that can allow us to access our most highly evolved tiers of responses. These mechanisms also serve as indicators as to which system we may be in depending on our situation, and how we can potentially shift into different systems and responses.
Getting a book published requires a platform/audience so my efforts for the next year or so will be on sharing and posting content regularly. If needed, I'll self-publish 🙂
Along with that, here are some other things that are happening:
- I'm recording a series of videos: They’re a blend of my research and clinical work examining brainwave patterns, facial electromyography, heart rate variability, electrodermal activity and other physiological measures combined with thousands of hours of conversations, counselling and coaching with patients and clients for over a decade.. The focus will be on trauma, resilience, socio-biological signals and mindset. And now with the added layer of my own personal experiences. I'll be posting them on my YouTube channel and Instagram beginning late August/early September (possibly earlier, so stay tuned…)
- I have the remaining four episodes of podcast season 2 almost ready and will also post these in the fall (I have mixed feelings about episodes 7,8, and 9 because i recorded them in january, and I can only see now in retrospect that there’s something ‘missing’ from them - but i’ll post them anyway :-). Season 3 will be interviews (2022)
- I just finished co-writing a chapter on the neuroscience of hope with my longtime friend, Dr. Kari Grain. She just submitted the manuscript to her publisher!
AND.... I'm moving back to Canada this summer!!!
Returning to my hometown of Calgary... A blend of cowboy western and multicultural landscapes, ranchlands, Rocky Mountains and the traditional territories of the people of the Treaty 7 and Metis Nation of Alberta. I'm looking forward to spaciousness, crisp cold air, mountain hikes, and being part of cutting-edge PTSD research. I LOVE Chicago - but being with family members who are in need of support is the most important thing for me to do right now.
There will be more challenges that await me there. I am prepared to use all of them as fuel for my own mastery, so that I can share these processes with you.
In a few weeks, I'll send you another post, and then I'll begin posting regularly again late summer/early fall.
Here is a video that is a preview of some of what i’m working on and will be sharing!
p.s.-If you’d like to support my work and help me get my book published, one of the best ways you’ll be able to to do that is to share my posts with as many people as you can once I have them up and running regularly (on youtube, instagram and my website) starting May 26.
Some music I'm listening to for uplifting energy...