ARTICLES + PODCAST EPISODES
Neuroscience of Attachment: how to have more intimacy and independence in our adult relationships
As children, we all seek a secure base. The harbor we know we can return to and rely on, no matter how upset or distressed or emotionally messy we get. As children, it’s not our job to be a secure…
Season 3 Episode 1 – Biomechanics of Human Communication and Social Intelligence
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
In this episode, I explore:
-the difference between our autonomic and somatic nervous systems and why knowing the difference gives us power to change
-biomechanisms we use to protect or defend ourselves that are tied to our past and may not be helpful to us in our current situation (as I am learning, these can be hard habits to break)
-how we can experiment with new patterns using skeletal muscles to control our breath, voice, eyes, hands and body within our social interactions
-10 key mechanical adjustments we can make to move in this world in ways that optimize our functioning and sense of fulfillment
-how our hyper-focus on words & devices makes us lose touch with our bodies, with our environment and with all the non-verbal aspects of life
Why growth mindset is a neuroscience-informed mindset
Growth mindset is more neurologically accurate than fixed mindset. A growth mindset reflects the idea that we can build and evolve our abilities and intelligence. A fixed mindset is the idea that we have ‘fixed’ amounts of intelligence and…
How to slow down anxious thinking using neuroscience
Anxious thinking is associated with fast brainwaves. The more relaxed you are, the slower your brainwave activity. In this video I show you how to slow your brainwaves so you can access a more relaxed state. I also go into:…
3 powerful mindset shifts to unleash human potential
“Paradigm: the mindset out of which the system – its goals, structures, rules, delays and parameters – arises.” -Donella Meadows, Thinking in Systems The idea of presenting one thing next to another in order to see both more clearly is…
Season 2 Episode 12 – Moral Injury, Forgiveness and Cognitive Flexibility
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What is moral injury, and how can we use it as a path to cognitive flexibility, sense of purpose and forgiveness?
In this episode, we explore the following:
– what is moral injury
– what is morality and how it can be used to improve energy efficiency and resilience of the human species
– how forgiveness and flexibility help us activate highly sophisticated and evolved neural mechanisms
– that brain activations that are different in trauma compared with moral injury
– how the human species is an interconnected network of nodes that requires social signaling for trust and cooperation
How to fulfill your life’s purpose
The best way to get on track to fulfilling your life purpose is to know that there’s no ‘correct’ version of what fulfilling your life’s purpose looks like. Many people seem to believe that it looks like what a celebrity…
Moral Injury Part 2: Psychic Trauma and Annihilation Anxieties
Psychic trauma, annihilation anxiety and moral injury reveal fears about how our life and existence is valued by others. Using the example of being ‘chased by a tiger’ to describe fear doesn’t resonate Something that has come to the forefront…
Moral Injury Part 1: Residue from the Past
“The residues of the past and the content of the future tend to be formulated, constructed, and reconstructed in terms of that [traumatic] experience” (Dowling, 1986) Read Moral Injury Part 2: Psychic trauma and annihilation anxieties Read and listen…
Season 2 Episode 11 – The Neuroscience of Attachment and Emotion Regulation
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Attachment theory is not a ‘theory’.. it’s a part of our neurophysiological operating system Attachment is a way of seeking proximity to an attachment figure. It’s a biobehavioral adaptation that helps us regulate ourselves and explore new frontiers. This in…
The science of habit change + my podcast interview with Heidi Sawyer
Many of us don’t realize how many of our behaviors are automated. We need a certain amount of this automation to free up cognitive processing energy to learn new things, try new behaviors and deal adaptively with new situations. …
Season 2 Episode 10 – The Science of Feeling Understood
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Have you ever had the experience of feeling like someone really ‘gets you’? This can take various forms – like being able to share what’s on our mind and the other person holding space for us to explain. It…
How to stop overreacting – Part 2 of 2
What does it mean to react? An important aspect of the word reaction is ‘re’ – which means that it happens again. To re-act is to act again and again in a similar way. In the psychotherapy…
My interview at the Big Brain Summit
In this interview, we focus on why learning new ways of being, thinking and reacting can cause discomfort. I share my two ‘origin stories’ of how I got into the world of neuroplasticity and neuroscience research, and my discoveries of…
How to stop overreacting – Part 1 of 2
Have you had an argument recently, or an interaction with someone that didn’t go as you hoped it would?
What was your reaction in this situation? Was it anger, defensiveness, or shutting down?
Did you say what you truly wanted to say?
Did you hold back?
Or did you say something hurtful?
Is there something you feel about this situation that you can’t put your finger on why it bothers you so much? Or do you think you know why, but you don’t know how to express it to that person?
In this podcast episode, I go into
-brain-body mechanisms that lead to overreactions
-connecting the dots between your childhood and anxiety, stress, depression and other challenges you may be facing
-A process to help us be less reactive and increase our attentional control during difficult interactions
Season 2 Episode 9 – Hierarchies and Signal Flow
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Why do systems fall apart or become dysfunctional?
A system can be a family, relationship, community, business, organization, society. The human mind-brain-body is also a system.
One reason dysfunction can happen is related to hierarchy and ‘signal flow’.
Hierarchies exist throughout nature and throughout human society.
Hierarchies are best able to serve the system when there is efficient signal flow from subsystems to the higher levels and vice versa.
We can see dysfunction happen when the highest levels of a hierarchy are
-not serving the goals of the entire system
-have communication channels dominated by a specific subgroup/subsystem
-are blocking or suppressing efficient communication and signal flow from the subsystems
Optimal functioning of a system requires a state of signal flow where all members or nodes feel ‘understood’.
This experience of being understood is at the core of optimal system functioning within human systems. When we don’t feel understood, it means there is a block of signal flow.
This episode covers the idea of hierarchies and signal flow – and what happens when hierarchies don’t serve the goals of the entire system.
In upcoming articles, I’ll be bringing this concept back down to more personal and interpersonal levels.
The science of self-fulfilling prophecies and why we repeat relationship habits
Many of our patterns – whether we want to admit it or not – come from our childhood. It’s hard to get around this fact. This is because when we are young, our brain is specializing its algorithms and…
How quick fix mindsets hurt your brain
Something i see happen quite a bit in the mental health field is that a lot of people are seeking a quick fix and a way to alleviate their symptoms. This is completely understandable, and might be needed in…
3 ways to get rid of brain fog and increase mental clarity
Do you find yourself in a state of mental fog, or not being clear-minded, ‘out of it’? This is something that i hear a lot of people reporting issues with. In the brain maps that I do, i see…
How to use neuroscience to build growth mindset
Growth happens in increments and happens in ways that are often way below the surface
If our sense of success comes from a very specific outcome, then the only chance we have for that neurochemical reward is at the ‘finish line’ so to speak. That means we won’t get hits of it along the way, which can mean we are more likely to give up.
Season 2 Episode 8 – Shifting the Burden
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
In this podcast episode, I talk about something called ‘shifting the burden’. It’s about the topic of what we depend on ourselves for, and what we look to others to help us with. The balance of our dependence on ourselves and others – whether in adaptive maladaptive ways – is based on our first experiences with depending on someone.
Many of us simply don’t know how deeply emotional of a subject this is. It is one of our most primitive, primal CORE-to-the-CORE experiences of being human… a battle between wanting to be independent and self-sufficient, and yet also knowing that one of our deepest desires is to connect in authentic ways with others.
My reflection questions at the end of the episode are about your doubts, desires and dependencies – how they interplay on each other and how they’ve been formed over time – through your experiences with others.. and what they’ve doubted, desired and depended on in their own lives.
I hope you find something in this episode helpful.
Families are Complex Adaptive Systems
Our families are complex adaptive systems. Our relationships are complex adaptive systems. A complex adaptive system is a system where the behavior and trajectories of the nodes/parts/subsystems/people are nonlinear and may not be predictable. This is because the interactions…
Can neuroscience change behavior? New video and monthly classes!
‘Can you fix my kid’s brain?’ asked a woman who ran into me as I was leaving one of my workshops. she was referring to her son’s strong emotional outbursts, especially with his family. And she was also referring to…
How to calm down anxious thinking by understanding your brainwaves
In brainwave patterns that correlate with the experience of anxiety and anxious thinking, we see a higher amount of a very fast brainwave frequency range called high beta (or hibeta, which is about 20-35 hz). Clients and patients…
Brainwave patterns related to depression
There are certain patterns i see in brainwave profiles (that are obtained through quantitative EEG analysis) that are often linked with people who report challenges such as depression and anxiety One of those patterns is asymmetry. What…
The science of how to build a more resilient and adaptive mindset
What’s the difference between ‘normal’ and ‘natural’ behavior? As children, we don’t get to choose what our environment is or what kind of system we are a part of. Since we don’t get to choose, we must…
Signals and Frequencies of Our Social Nervous System
If aliens landed and wanted to communicate with us, what kind of team would you assemble and how would you go about communicating with them? What would you do to try to understand them or help them understand us…
The importance of inner intelligence
Self-directed neuroplasticity is one of the first topics that drew me in to study neuroscience. One of the most important aspects of it is ‘self-directed’. We can’t help that our brains get built through our experiences and relationships. …
The neuroscience of a self-aware mindset
We can’t change our reactions or behaviors if we don’t realize they are being driven by our mindset. We can’t change our mindset if we don’t realize we have one. A mindset is a ‘setting’ of our mind. It’s…
How we block this primal mechanism for safety and connection
When we leave the womb, the first moment of feeling ‘disconnected’ from our place of safety is the loss of all-encompassing warmth. We emerge into a world with air and light and un-muffled sounds. Our main reassurance that we are…
What ‘social frequencies’ are you transmitting?
https://youtu.be/zNWORt7vW3o Every mood, intention and internal state you experience transmits audible and visible signals to others – whether you know it or not. Brain imaging is interesting, but you don’t actually ever know what part of your brain is activating…
update of what’s going on behind the scenes + new video!
I just wanted to send you an update of what’s going on behind the scenes here… First – thank you to all of you for sending beautiful messages of understanding and encouragement. The insights I’ve had over the past…
Season 2 Episode 7 – Normal versus Natural
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Normal is based on historical data. It’s based on what has happened the most often in the past. Our past ‘normal’ can make it easy to not question if there is more that’s possible in terms of wellbeing and a deeper sense of meaning for our life. But what we really, truly, deeply need to understand is that the ‘normal mode’ of consuming and doing the same combination of movements day after day without challenging our brain-body to higher and higher levels of creation and exploration is not NATURAL.
We are: COMPLEX ADAPTIVE SYSTEMS. Our NATURE is to adapt to ever-changing, increasingly difficult and complex situations that involve other complex systems so that our adaptive problem-solving faculties become more honed and finely tuned. Many of our behaviors and patterns are blocking us from tapping into our most natural abilities.
Taking time off from my blog/podcast/social media
before i could release the weight of my sadness and pain, I first had to honor its existence -yung pueblo Hello friends, I need to be more personal with you than I usually am. I’m taking a big risk here,…
The neuroscience of a ‘seeking’ mindset
One of my favorite music artists of all time is a French singer named Francis Cabrel. Acoustic guitar* is to me one of the most soothing sounds and the French language does something to me 🙂 One of my favorite…
The Shame-Submission Response and Weaponizing the Human Voice
The most dangerous form of human interaction is shame. If some of your past experiences involve feeling shame, it’s quite possible that you do not have conscious awareness of where those feelings come from. This is because shame…
The science of why mindset changes behavior
A mindset shift is a visceral, sensorimotor experience. What does ‘visceral’ mean? Viscera refers to the soft internal organs of the body, including the lungs, the heart, and the organs of the digestive, excretory, reproductive, and circulatory systems. …
Season 2 Episode 6 – Why are humans so anxious? and the dark side of mindfulness
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
When we focus on trying to ‘fix’ dysregulation without acknowledging how it emerged, we are conveying a message that somehow the anxiety or overreaction just ‘appeared’ because of an imbalance in their brain and that distress, dysregulation and anxiety are…
The dark side of resilience and why we need to talk about trauma
Being trauma-informed is an act of science-based compassion. When we understand the neurobiological impacts of trauma, violence and what I call ‘sociobiological insults’ to our psychological safety – we naturally become more understanding of human pain. We need to discover…
This is why I chose to study neuroscience
“We don’t passively forget that something is scary. We must actively learn that it isn’t anymore.” – Stanford Neurology professor, Dr. Robert Sapolsky The day a young man I had been counseling told me that, for the first time…
VIDEOS
Neuroscience of Attachment: how to have more intimacy and independence in our adult relationships
As children, we all seek a secure base. The harbor we know we can return to and rely on, no matter how upset or distressed or emotionally messy we get. As children, it’s not our job to be a secure…
Why growth mindset is a neuroscience-informed mindset
Growth mindset is more neurologically accurate than fixed mindset. A growth mindset reflects the idea that we can build and evolve our abilities and intelligence. A fixed mindset is the idea that we have ‘fixed’ amounts of intelligence and…
How to slow down anxious thinking using neuroscience
Anxious thinking is associated with fast brainwaves. The more relaxed you are, the slower your brainwave activity. In this video I show you how to slow your brainwaves so you can access a more relaxed state. I also go into:…
3 powerful mindset shifts to unleash human potential
“Paradigm: the mindset out of which the system – its goals, structures, rules, delays and parameters – arises.” -Donella Meadows, Thinking in Systems The idea of presenting one thing next to another in order to see both more clearly is…
How to stop overreacting – Part 2 of 2
What does it mean to react? An important aspect of the word reaction is ‘re’ – which means that it happens again. To re-act is to act again and again in a similar way. In the psychotherapy…
My interview at the Big Brain Summit
In this interview, we focus on why learning new ways of being, thinking and reacting can cause discomfort. I share my two ‘origin stories’ of how I got into the world of neuroplasticity and neuroscience research, and my discoveries of…
How to stop overreacting – Part 1 of 2
Have you had an argument recently, or an interaction with someone that didn’t go as you hoped it would?
What was your reaction in this situation? Was it anger, defensiveness, or shutting down?
Did you say what you truly wanted to say?
Did you hold back?
Or did you say something hurtful?
Is there something you feel about this situation that you can’t put your finger on why it bothers you so much? Or do you think you know why, but you don’t know how to express it to that person?
In this podcast episode, I go into
-brain-body mechanisms that lead to overreactions
-connecting the dots between your childhood and anxiety, stress, depression and other challenges you may be facing
-A process to help us be less reactive and increase our attentional control during difficult interactions