The harder we try to convince someone, the more resistant they often become.
Especially when our message carries an unintended implication:
The way you're doing things is wrong.
Humans are highly sensitive to socio-evaluative information
When someone feels judged, corrected, or diminished, protective responses can make it harder to stay curious and open to new information.
And sometimes even the most scientifically sound explanation can trigger that response.
One of the most powerful shifts I've made in my own work is to begin with a different assumption:
- The other person's way of seeing the world makes sense to them.
- Their experiences have shaped it.
- Their nervous system has learned from it.
- And there's intelligence in what they've built.
When we open ourselves to those systems-thinking perspectives.. we create more room for genuine exchange.
Because the mindset we bring into a conversation shapes the words we choose.
Our own nervous system is part of the interaction, too.
When we feel frustrated that someone isn't listening, or anxious that our message isn't getting through, that can influence our tone, our timing, and the language we choose.
Sometimes our urgency to help someone see something differently becomes part of what makes the exchange more difficult.
This is why I believe nervous system literacy has such profound implications for the way we teach, lead, and communicate.
It helps us become more aware of the nervous system vibrations we're bringing into our interactions, while staying open and curious about the experiences shaping the person in front of us.
Curiosity, from a brain perspective, can open more possibilities that trying-harder-to-convince often can.
This is one of the mechanisms we explore in my newly revamped Reach the Resistant Mind* course, where I've added more real-life examples and practical applications for reaching skeptical clients, audiences, and organizations.
This week, the course is $57 (regularly $77).
Explore the neuroscience → https://stefaniefaye.com/buy-in
With love and respect for your own resistance and spaces for openness,
Stefanie
(formerly called Reach More Minds - science-of-buy-in. If you already bought the course, check out the new modules!)
