...there is a lot of trial and error involved as I make mistakes and then try to learn and evolve from them as much as I can. It's not a linear process. It's ups and downs, starts and stops. Putting stuff out there and then pulling back. Clarity emerges in increments, then gets blurry and messy again.
This is one of the biggest transitions I've ever gone through in my life. It comes with a lot of uncertainty, self-doubt, fear of change and vulnerability. I've never acknowledged my need for others before. It's very foreign territory for me - and it makes me feel clumsy, scared and awkward.
Vulnerability is something I am still trying to figure out how to do - where there is always a fear of not enough or too much... trying to express how much I need connection, and feeling the nervousness of letting down protective shields that often lead me to pull away and protect myself with my independence.
Not giving up on trying to figure out how to do this.
With Love from Me to You