A familiar word can narrow what we notice next.
What if you can be in “flight” without going anywhere?
When we say flight, we’re often talking about escape: moving away from whatever we believe the threat is.
But our body isn’t the only way we ‘move away’.
What if we use our mind, our attention to escape?
What would “flight” look like from an arousal and attention perspective?
And what if something that looks like flight is actually movement toward something else… with positive energy, desire or mixed feelings...
this is where a lot of our terminology and the sort of linear way we have of looking at nervous system states can mislead us..
For example, if someone is in a state that is coming from being overwhelmed for such a long period that the person has gone flat.. if you can only choose from 'fight flight fawn freeze' (as an example).. does that paint the whole picture?
And when we do use a label from a framework, do we sometimes narrow our description too tightly onto one specific rung of that ladder?
(eg., sympathetic vs. parasympathetic)
Nervous systems are generally not that simple of a picture to paint.
They are fluctuations in energy, reflections of history and predictions coming up in the present.
Movements that sometimes close us off, or open us into our desire for connection (or distance and boundaries).
Different colors within an infinite spectrum, shifting across different moments and contexts.
Something we might call stubbornness or stuckness could be hypoarousal after a long period of overwhelm. The person has gone flat.
Something we call ‘flight’ might happen while the body is completely still.
A label can definitely give us a place to begin… and that is important.
But it can also hide useful information.
A reflection for you:
Notice your state right now. Does a term you’ve learned describe it? (there’s a good chance you do have some great words that fit really well).
What do you notice when you expand beyond that word or label and you start noticing things like:
- Where are your eyes pointed at, how quickly are they moving about?
- What are your hands doing?
- Your posture, your breath, your forehead muscles?
- What about your desire for movement, stillness, connection, or aloneness..
How does that change your exploration and experience?
Do you get any new insights about what you might actually need from this moment that you might not have noticed before?
(as i write this, I noticed my posture starting to slump.. I enjoyed straightening up and it gave me a feeling of enjoying the moment of writing and also a glimmer of knowing it would feel good to stretch and move soon..)
This richer self-knowing helps us recognize more complexity within ourselves.
And the more complexity we can hold within ourselves, the more we may be able to perceive, and support in others.
P.S. The nervous system is a living landscape.. shifting, predicting, protecting and navigating constantly emerging new data at every moment.
The more of that living intelligent system you can see, the more wisely you can orient and support yourself and the people you serve.
Inside Teach the Nervous System, I share the multidimensional map I use to explore the inner fluctuations of nervous-system states with room for nuance, messiness and flexibility outside our usual labels.
