There's a difference between knowing the words and knowing the mechanism.
Many of us have collected vocabulary about our internal states. ‘Dopamine menus’. ‘Dorsal vagal shutdowns’. Acronyms from someone else's framework.
These phrases spread because they give us something to hold onto, and that's a real need.
But a mechanism gives you more than a name for your experience.
It shows you where the roots are.. And from there you can see where adjustments or tools might be applied to have more power as a lever.
Our brain is constantly trying to predict what might happen so it can prepare the body's energy budget in advance, before the moment even arrives. For example, a surge of irritation before you go into a meeting, tightness in your throat before a conversation you don’t really want to have... these are your brain-body predicting-and-adjusting-in-advance.
Your system allocates resources based on what it expects, drawing on every similar moment it has stored in its history.
Once we see more of the systems that influence our reactions this way, we have more of a chance of making a choice - ahead of time, and in the moment.
Why? Because a prediction can be updated.
When we know a reaction is a forecast built from our past data, we can feed our system new data. This could look like.. a slower exhale before speaking. Trying out a reframe that changes what you think that person’s reaction means.
It’s like working with the machinery instead of just naming the parts.
This same idea can help us when we're guiding others.
When we can explain why a practice regulates the nervous system, the people we work with can adapt the principle to their own bodies and lives, rather than memorizing our steps or repeating our vocabulary.
They become their own mechanics.
Memorized language sometimes loses its power during situations it was supposed to work in. A working model of our own system can help us adapt and attune when a vocabulary word or acronym doesn’t seem to be doing the trick.
A reflection for this week: pick one thing you feel like you are dreading, don’t want to do this week.. And ask : what might my system be predicting here? What is it preparing me for? Is there another path that could be available that maybe hasn’t been a part of my history, but that I could invite in? (remember, we can’t control another person’s reaction or behavior.. But we can stay open to allowing new frequencies to emanate from us and guide us in new ways).
Wishing you a rich dimension of understanding your own systems in new, empowering ways,
Stefanie Faye
P.S. If you'd like to be able to explain these mechanisms to the people you teach, coach, or lead... in language their brains actually engage with... Teach the Nervous System walks you through the frameworks step by step.
Module 2 of Teach the Nervous System gives you a multi-dimensional nervous system map that is more precise than anything built around simplified polyvagal or fight-flight-freeze language .. making it more useful in real time, when neuro-words fail.
The oversimplified frameworks aren't wrong.
They're just more limiting because they can't account for the full range of states your clients, students, and colleagues actually move through. For example, the person who looks calm but is internally agitated. The leader who appears poised but is not actually regulated. The student who is quiet - but not because they're at ease.
When you have a more complete map, you see more.
And when you see more, you get better at recognizing patterns, connecting dots and helping nervous systems shift into what they actually need.
$44. Nine modules. The map that changes how you read every room.
