"In one lifetime we can
be reborn many times"
A true teacher of healing, resilience and transformation is someone who is able to turn inwards to heal and reflect on themselves, and take compassionate and sincere accountability for the part they play in the world and the lives they touch, so they can authentically show others how to do the same. I feel like it's time for me to put more focus on this process for myself for a little while so I can show up in new ways for the new chapter of life I am building towards.
A significant part of my mission to learn on a deep, mechanical and conscious level about how we regulate ourselves on our own, and within relationships is so that I am able to explain and model this to others. In doing so, I hope to empower adults and children with an understanding that we can break the cycles of our past. It's like learning a foreign language - and because of this explicit learning, it allows me to teach it in ways that a 'native speaker' couldn't because they never needed to learn it consciously as an adult.
This means, however, that there is a lot of trial and error involved as I make mistakes and then try to learn and evolve from them as much as I can. It's not a linear process. It's ups and downs, starts and stops. Putting stuff out there and then pulling back. Clarity emerges in increments, then gets blurry and messy again. Thankfully, if there's one thing I have seen from this journey, is that as long as we continue to try to learn and grow, even when there are setbacks and challenges - they give us so much opportunity to face our fears and keep going. I'm seeing that with each fallback, the energy and resources needed to get back up again can give us even more clarity and fine-tuned vision of what we want our life to look like and what it can be when we push through fears and limitations.
But sometimes, to be the best person we can be for others, we need to examine ourselves and take accountability for learning how to update our own patterns. That's where I'm at in this moment.
Not giving up on trying to figure out how to do better. But not there yet.
I hope to eventually host a neuroscience-based retreat program of some sort next summer or fall. I may consider bringing equipment to analyze people's heart rate variability, voice patterns and brainwaves. I would like a focus to include natural systems/intelligence (so being outside, and possibly even including some animals -particularly dogs - to illustrate some concepts about co-regulation and biological signals and voice frequency effects). I would be inviting several experts in diverse fields to share knowledge. Possibly a fixed location for a few days, or traveling to various locations and doing a one-day thing. If you are interested in giving feedback and getting updates on this, please fill out this form.
I still often feel like I’m not meant for the online world and digital communication. There is an element of toxicity that I feel like when I am away from it, my mind is more clear. I do my best to be on here and share, but it’s one of my weaknesses. And I haven’t quite figured out to navigate it well. In person is a whole other story… I feel like that is all I want right now... to be around people I trust and who are like-minded. Not sure how to· reconcile this but hoping for clarity as I put intention into prioritizing and refining how I want my life to look (you can read about that here). You’ll hear a bit about this in my interview on the Integrated Mindset Podcast where we talk about some of how online communication and social media affect our feelings of connection and safety.